It's not that I really resent the 24/7 zen exercise. By "24/7 zen exercise" I mean that every cognitive action of the waking day requires clear focus.
As I said, it's not so much that I resent it, it's that I have grown to really like "thinking". And having abstract thought during a mandatory zen exercise is a little counterproductive (it has taken me 40 minutes to write the blog post to this point).
I accept the notion that this will clear. I accept that I must teach myself to juggle again. I accept that this partial reboot/rewrite section of my previous usual cognitive ability is occurring in a new society and a language that is not my native language.
Life's a bitch, but she's my bitch.
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